I've been driving for 15 years. That's almost half my life. I don't consider myself to be the best driver, but I particularly try to be as courteous and accommodating as possible towards other road users.

And I expect the same treatment in return. It's not demanding too much, is it? I'm just a normal person, with maybe just as much brains as the next person.

So why does the next person always turn out to be an idiot?

Young Malay male drivers almost always manage to boil my blood. You know the type- modified car, large exhausts, large tyres, drives in an almost flat rear-inclined position, invariably wears a cap.

But there are other types too. Might I direct your attention to this:

• Male driver, 20 to 40 years old, drives fast (or so he thinks) and recklessly (two very different things). Overtakes on double line, at corners (even blind corners where they can't see oncoming vehicles). Modified car (you know the type- GT wings, skirts, ridiculous-sized exhausts). When he's alone or with male friends, that's when he's most dangerous. This is due to ego mostly. He doesn't care that he's endangering people. But the funny thing is, when there are family members in the car, he drives like a 75 year old dude. Slow and steady. A tortoise no less. What an idiotic hypocrite.

• Female driver. New car. Less than 5 year old license. Moderately skilled driver. Drives slowly and thinks she's driving safely (another two different things). Never looks in her rear view mirrors (all three of them) to look out for other vehicles. Signals yes, but 2 meters from where she wants to turn off. No parking skills at all. Can't parallel park to save her life. Also scared of kerbs when parking so her car juts out from parking spaces and blocks traffic. Even when she drives a Kancil, she can still block traffic (no sense of distance at all). On two laned roads, she always chooses the right one and hogs the lane. This she learned from her male family member (See no 1 above). No amount of flashing or honking will budge her from this lane. On the rare occasion she's on the left lane and wants to do a U-turn, she'll take the right lane 5km away from the turn and give the signal, forcing other people to go around or get stuck behind her.

• Female driver. Older version of no 2. Drives even slower. Does all the things that no 2 does, but at even slower speeds. Usually older cars. Children in the back seat (and sometimes on her lap). Hugs the steering wheel. You could practically see her breasts and the steering touch.
  

• Male driver. 40-50 years old. Never signals. When coming back into traffic from the road shoulder he almost always just drive into your path at minimum speed. Doesn't matter if you're at speed, he won't care. Either you brake, hit him from behind or swerve into oncoming traffic to avoid him. If you honk at him, he'll return the favour because he doesn't think he's done anything wrong. A variant of this is the driver who slowly moves into traffic, thinking that he's allowing people to go first. All he does is block traffic because nobody can pass him anyway. Doesn't know the effect his driving has on others.
  

• The right lane hogger. Male and female. If they could drive on the road divider, they would. Because they want to be on right lane always. At U-turns they drive on the lane portion reserved for those actually doing U-turns and just goes on straight ahead. All this at 60-70km/h. Maybe they'll move over if you flash and horn. But not before. When you pass them they'll give you the glare. Or worse, they smile condescendingly at you like they're doing you a favour and you should be grateful they moved over. Thinks they will arrive late if they give way to faster drivers.

• The slow-poke. Discounting those with older cars and commercial vehicles ( who can't go fast anyway), this type is probably the worst for some. The road ahead is clear but oncoming traffic disallow overtaking, and yet they won't drive a bit faster to relieve the congestion. They'd rather people make a convoy behind them and they be the leader (we call being a tok imam here in T'ganu).
  

• The slow-poke assistant. This the one just behind the one above or they're following a truck/lorry. They cannot (and usually will not) overtake but they tailgate the slow one in front so that people behind cannot pass. On clear roads this is not a problem but when traffic is intermediately heavy, you can't overtake more than two cars at a time. So the convoy builds up. This is when no 1 above come from the rear and try to pass everyone at high speed and recklessly. Usually he makes it but once in a while, a pile up happens and some innocent driver and his family end up dead.
  

• Male or female. Can't read road signs. Enters petrol stations from the exit lane and is blissfully unaware of the rules. Leaves engine running. Sometimes smokes while filling up. Go out through the wrong way also.

• Traffic light jumpers. Drives moderately slow, blocking faster cars, when the lights are green and they're still some distance away. The instant the lights turn amber, he (uually a he) accelerates and won't stop even after it turns red.
  

• Queue jumpers. The worst by far. They think they're the only ones in a hurry. Not a care for those queueing. There are no words to describe how much I despise these people.
  

Are you one of these?